When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
