How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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