you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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