My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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