why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
