i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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