HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
