he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
this will be a night to untag.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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