my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
