my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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