Cold hands, warm shart.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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