This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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