some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
