Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
