Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
