i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i believe in u and ur pee
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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