But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
