We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
