The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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