Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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