i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
