I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
