Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
