So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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