with your own penis?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
