proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
