Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Do vagina's smell?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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