I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
