is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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