I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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