In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
