yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
