? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
