you guys were way drunker than both of me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
