We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
