We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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