If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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