seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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