I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
