FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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