I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
