she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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