we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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