he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
