My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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