"it" just moved
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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