Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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