Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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