the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
