Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
